You thought March of the Penguins was a soapy adventure filled with crazy, dangerous twists at every turn? National Geographic is going to have you seriously rethink that. This hell of a story begins with a husband penguin returning home to his colony to chill and maybe fix up his nest, only to discover that his penguin wife — and mother of his baby penguins! — is shacking up with another male penguin. A bloody battle with the homewrecker ensues, with the two males wholly prepared to fight each other to death with their cute and cuddly flippers and beaks. Damnit, Skipper and Kowalski. We were all rooting for you.