It’s safe to say that critics and viewers alike weren’t completely blown away by Sherlock’s fourth season premiere this week — a certain unexpected death might’ve contributed to that — especially after factoring in the three-year wait time it took to get the new episodes. (Thanks for the great Christmas Special, though!) The show’s co-creator and supporting actor, Mark Gatiss — who portrays the delightfully uppity, umbrella-toting Mycroft Holmes — took notice of a recent piece of widely circulated criticism published in the Guardian, which pleaded the series to stop morphing the brainy Holmes character into a pseudo–James Bond. But instead of firing off a response on social media or even penning a simple follow-up piece for the paper, Gatiss chose to utilize a method so cunning, so inherently British, that it was bound to get the attention of Sherlock fans worldwide. And by that, we clearly mean lyric poetry:
Here is a critic who says with low blow
Sherlock’s no brain-box but become double-O.
Says the Baker St boy is no man of action –
whilst ignoring the stories that could have put him in traction.
Through numerous stanzas, Gatiss argues that Holmes is, indeed, worthy of a Bond comparison.
In shooting down pygmies and Hounds from hell
Did Sherlock on Victorian niceties dwell?
When Gruner’s men got him was Holmes quite compliant
Or did he give good account for The Illustrious Client?
Suck it, 007!
There’s no need to invoke in yarns that still thrill,
Her Majesty’s Secret Servant with licence to kill
From Rathbone through Brett to Cumberbatch dandy
With his fists Mr Holmes has always been handy.
We’re going to need a few cups of Earl Grey to recover from these scathing lit burns.