If the National Enquirer seems to be short one salacious gossip article in its next edition, it will be because self-proclaimed warrior Nick Cannon’s valiant Instagram lashing scared the tabloid from publishing a salacious gossip article about him. According to Billboard, the Enquirer is allegedly planning to run a story claiming that Cannon has “suffered a nervous breakdown” and that his ex-wife Mariah Carey plans to take full custody of their twins, Monroe and Moroccan. The article — which would presumably run alongside a column about Kristen Stewart’s body odor and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall’s stint in “royal rehab” — is also peppered with a factual event in Cannon’s life, his departure from NBC’s America’s Got Talent, to give the “insiders” knowledge more weight.
Upon learning about the yet-to-be-released article, Cannon threatened the publication on Instagram with a lawsuit for defamation and “slander” (though he probably meant libel). The comedian was particularly upset about the Enquirer’s claims about his children. “So the @enquirer wants to play around with my children,” Cannon wrote. “Only Evil operates in this manner. What is the purpose? Except to exemplify pure immoral wickedness.” In addition to the lawsuit, Cannon warned that he is “a warrior,” and “no weapon formed against me shall prosper!” Read his wrathful post below, and gossip columnists, beware.