Only a damn fool would cheat on a woman as lovely as Salma Hayek, so it’s with a heavy heart we must inform you that Hayek’s husband, the French billionaire businessman François-Henri Pinault, was engaging in some pretty shady behavior with a woman named Elena last week, and her text-message communiqué was caught by Hayek herself. “I’m Mexican, you know it doesn’t go well,” she explained. “I was so furious, and I said, Well, obviously she’s desperate.” But all’s well that ends well — Elena was actually Elsa, who’s actually the popular English-language learning app ELSA. He just wanted to learn how to enunciate his vowels better! Aw.