We’re done with Hannah Baker’s cassette tapes, but we’re certainly not done with Hannah Baker. Details are slim on where 13 Reasons Why’s second season will take us, but showrunner Bryan Yorkey dropped a few hints to Entertainment Weekly as to where the hit show’s second season is headed, and Hannah’s shoebox of cassette tapes won’t be at the center of the new season’s drama. “The tapes are still obviously on people’s minds, but there is a different sort of analog technology that plays a hugely important role in season two,” Yorkey told EW. “So the cassette tapes aren’t at the center of it — those two boxes of tapes are still hanging around and matter to people — but there will be a new piece of technology for 13-year-olds to Google and try to understand what it was.”
Luckily, we Vultures are old and wise and remember the days of VHS tapes and dial-up internet. What relatively analog gadget could the series use to its advantage in season two? Our bets:
The gossip mill moves at a glacial pace on 13 Reasons Why, so employing a flock of carrier pigeons might actually get things moving a little faster. Is this absolutely impractical? Sure, but so are cassette tapes in 2017, frankly!
Telegrams are old-timey, extremely Google-able, and also open the door to a lot of mixed messages with their lack of punctuation. We’ll send the first one: “Clay STOP Please properly treat and disinfect that disgusting gash on your forehead STOP Sincerely, Vulture”
Is it time for a critical reappraisal of Microsoft’s failed iPod competitor, a device that could hold 30,000 songs, 25,000 pictures, or 375 hours of video? The Zune did just get a Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 shout-out. Later models had Zune-to-Zune sharing capability, where tracks could be transferred over Wi-Fi and then played three whole times over three whole days. Imagine the plot points you could have with a track that can only be played three times!
Does Clay have feelings for Skye, or is he still smitten with Sheri Holland? Picture finding out the desires of Clay Jensen’s heart with the assistance of two Liberty High school flags in the moonlight.
13 Reasons Why’s extremely tattooed teens were too young for your humor and wit, Vine. Now you’re gone too soon. RIP.
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Imagine Clay Jensen doing his best Dan Humphrey, cynically typing out his observations of Liberty High’s rich and popular. Spotted: a new generation of teens getting their lonely_boy. That screen name is Clay’s teen TV drama birthright.