Mariah Smith is a comedian, writer and producer in New York City. In 2015, Smith created Keeping Up With the Kontinuity Errors, a blog that tracks the continuity errors in Keeping Up With the Kardashians, using Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and common sense. KUWTKE can be seen most widely on seen New York magazine’s The Cut or it’s homesite KUWTKE.com. In addition to KUWTKE, Smith writes entertainment essays, television recaps, and Kardashian roundups for various other outlets. Mariah has written for, or is featured on/in, Cosmopolitan, Genius, Complex, GQ, Gawker, Defamer, Business Insider, The A.V. Club, and more. She also works as a Research Associate Producer for Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen. This week, Smith talked to me about three of her favorite tweets, plus stray thoughts, Terrace House, and keeping up with celebrities’ families and friend groups.
North said she’s no Penelope hunnies pic.twitter.com/Bp1Q1hBP3w— mariah (@mRiah) May 12, 2017
I’m shocked that this tweet got so much interaction, because in my mind whenever you see a Kardashian child near a car door you automatically think of Penelope falling to the ground. I debated tweeting this because I think these two supremely cute babies are always pitted against one another and I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire…but I had to. It was a tweet so deep in my spirit that needed to be seen, and I love using pics or gifs in a tweet so it really wrote itself. I’m proud of this one!
What’s the most surprised you’ve been by a reaction to one of your tweets?
Honestly, the most surprising thing is that people actually like them. I started tweeting in high school. Back then, it was like I was tweeting out into a void so I used it almost like a diary, or a place to put stray thoughts. That’s when the only people I knew on Twitter were my immediate family and when there was no app and I’d be texting tweets in from my cellphone. So, I’d be in English class and text “I love rubbing my feet together,” wait until I got home to log on to the website and see if it actually went through. It was like magic. So now, I can tweet whenever and however but I still tweet the same things. Basically, I’m surprised that people would like anything I say because it’s all meant for me and I’m still tweeting about rubbing together body parts.
How would you describe your Twitter to someone who has never seen it?
I would describe my Twitter as slightly unhinged with a little side of sophistication and class. Then I would remind them that I am in fact okay, while my mouth was saying “it’s all in good fun,” but my eyes simply say “help.”
“i’m so fucking nice to everybody, and everyone is so vile to me.” — mariah (@mRiah) October 8, 2015
This is my pinned tweet, and it’s a quote from Selena Gomez. Sadly, I think she was talking about how people were treating her when she took time off to recover from lupus, but it’s still comedy gold. The language is so strong, self-indulgent and reminds me of myself when I tell my sisters that every new co-worker I have is “out to get me.” I think I identify with the feeling that you’re being constantly persecuted for no reason, and on top of that you’re relentlessly nice. The other thing I love about this is that when I wrote a piece about how much messy and petty Calvin Harris was in 2016, his fans (shocking, right?) came for me *hard* and used this tweet as ammo against me. Iconic. People also get confused because the quote isn’t credited, so it’s a bit confusing and they have to do some leg work to get to the heart of the joke here. Just my kind of funny.
What feeling most often motivates you to tweet?
I was actually talking to a friend about this the other day, but what motivates me most is general vibes and energy. If I feel like I’m tweeting or posting anything for just likes or clicks, then it rarely performs well. But, if I tweet whatever just comes to my mind and I have a good vibe with it that tends to get a better response. It’s all just spur of the moment. I’ll also tweet heavily about anything I’m passionate about, like the iconic television show Terrace House which you can find on Netflix.
Who are your favorite non-comedy celebs to follow on social media?
Obviously I love to follow the Kardashians, mainly Sister Kimberly West herself. Kim thinks so highly of her humor, and I’m right behind her on that one. When she’s not tweeting endorsements or ads, she’s tweeting comedy gold. There are moments where she’ll tweet for hours about a “silly” thing she did or those around her have done. My favorite Kim tweets are when she clap-backs to other celebs or trolls online. I just imagine her giggling and typing away, thinking “people are gonna die!”
Aside from Kim, everyone should follow at least one member of the Mowry family. I’ve chosen to follow Tia, Tamera, Tahj and their younger brother Tavior. A couple of years ago there seemed to be some strife between Tia and Tamera, but since that’s settled they’re being extra performative with their family time and how much they’re working, okay!! I’m also really big on following the entire families of celebrities, and key members of their friend groups. That’s the only way you can get the full picture of someone’s life! Like, my Instagram feed would be nothing without the entirety of the Hilton, Richards and Umanskys.
today and everyday i honor the bravery of those who have to see me eat lunch at my desk.— mariah (@mRiah) April 13, 2017
Many would argue against this, but I pretty much like to keep my private life off of the internet. And as mundane as this is, I feel like it lets people into a daily insecurity of mine and that’s both having a day job and eating lunch at my desk. I LOVE my job, but up until recently no one really knew what I did outside of writing, so I saw this as a peak behind the curtain. Plus I think it’s absurdly inhumane that grown adults have to be forced into eating lunch as politely as possible at their desks while working. And, I work hours where I’m forced to eat at least 2 meals with my co-workers like we’re in a summer camp. It’s something everyone can relate to, and really humbles you when you think about it.
Have you always liked to keep your private life off of social media, or is that a feeling you arrived at over time?
That decision happened organically. Personally, I don’t find my day to day to be particularly spectacular, so why would others? Of course I post pictures of things I’m enjoying at events I loved, but no one needs to know who I’m dating or where I’m going. Plus, as I’ve gotten older and busier, my social media life became more of a distraction, so that distance almost makes it feel like more of a relaxation moment rather than work or focusing on what’s really stressing me out in my day to day life.
What are your favorite subjects to tweet about? What are subjects you never tweet about?
I don’t know if I have a favorite subject! I’m pretty sure it changes seasonally. But, I’m most passionate about are celebrities and how bizarre they are, electronic shaming (honestly if you have an Android don’t ever @ me), and TV!
Jenny Nelson lives, writes, and performs in Brooklyn, NY.