Pour one out for Anthony Scaramucci, the White House communications director who technically never was. (He didn’t even make it until his official start date!) On Monday, ten days after his hiring and with not a single day officially served at his post, the Trump administration abruptly fired the Mooch before the man’s direct deposit ever stood a chance of clearing. His removal at record speed came just days after he went on an expletive-filled rant trashing Trump’s closest confidants during a phone call with The New Yorker. Now denied the chance to roast Scaramucci for however long his actual tenure at the White House might’ve afforded them, late-night hosts instead sent him up with a farewell extravaganza on Monday night. Here are the best jokes each host told at the Mooch’s expense.
Seth Meyers: “Man, that’s a kick in the Reince Penis.”
Stephen Colbert: [to the tune of “Bohemian Rhapsody”] “I won’t be back to Mooch this time tomorrow / Carry ooooon, carry on … without the old front-stabber.”
Jimmy Kimmel: “It’s only a matter of time before Trump replaces Ivanka with Tiffany Trump.”
Trevor Noah: “The guy got fired before the job began! That’s like waking up in the morning, looking in the newspaper, and it says, ‘Help wanted — but not you.’”
“GOP Fanboy” John Early on The Tonight Show: “Keep telling it like it is, Mooch. We as a nation love that you’re not PC and/or fake. Enjoy that time off, babe. I hope you spend it like Stephen Bannon would: by sucking your own —”