“A-L-I-C-I-A!” The People cry from the rooftops. “V-I-K-A-N-D-E-R!” They continue. Then, because they are out of breath from screaming with joy, they simply whisper, “I kinda forgot she was making a Tomb Raider movie?” But how, I ask, could you forget about the cinematic event of March 2018, in which we finally discover what Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, was up to before she started raiding all those tombs? (According to the film’s synopsis, she works as a bike courier and takes college classes in London — thrilling!) The official Tomb Raider Twitter account has released the official Tomb Raider poster, in which we see Vikander, standing like a colossus athwart a crashing wave (perhaps a coded reference to director Roar Uthaug’s The Wave?), ready for battle.
This isn’t the Lara Croft you know. This Lara Croft wears practical attire. She’s got mad muscles. She has her hair in a ponytail so it doesn’t get in her face. She’s by the ocean, but she has an ice pick, because you never know, there could be a tall, snowy mountain nearby. Tomb Raider’s logo contains an arrow, because you know this Lara Croft is all about old-fashioned weaponry. There are odd glowing red things in the distance, because maybe there’s magic and/or police cars in this movie, I guess? Tomb Raider will be available in real 3-D and IMAX, and I plan to see it in both. 10/10 fevered tulips.