In theory, a horse is a pretty cool gift. In actuality, it’s kind of hard to take care of — being large, hard to control, and likely to poop everywhere. On Jimmy Kimmel last night, David Letterman revealed that he decided to give Conan O’Brien a horse, because that’s what passes as a fun gag gift if you’re someone like him. He expected that Conan would return the horse quickly, but Conan’s wife took to the horse and they haven’t given it back, which means Letterman’s out the cost of the horse. “It was supposed to be a joke!” he said. “How crazy can the horse be?”
Luckily for anyone invested in horse drama, Conan O’Brien recently told his side of this story to Stephen Colbert. From him we learn that the horse’s name is Dave, that it was very young at the time of the gifting, which means that it would live for a long time, and that Conan’s wife eventually found an equine massage center where the horse can live (and supposedly find love with a Charlie Rose horse). Conan doesn’t mention whether Dave ever asked him to return the horse, so it’s really not clear whether Dave is still out the cost of the horse, or how much money everyone spent during this entire endeavor. The lesson here: Maybe just go with an edible arrangement next time.