For the past five seasons, Mindy Lahiri has been busy working as a successful OB/GYN, completing a fellowship at Stanford, and starting her own fertility clinic. Although she chiefly describes herself as a sedentary rom-com- and sour-straw enthusiast, she gets up to a surprising amount in her spare time. In addition to being a doctor, Mindy is a patron of the arts, an artiste in her own right, and an enterprising businesswoman, with a string of shameful incidents in her past. The following is a selection of Mindy’s best offscreen gags:
Hobbies and Business Ventures
-Played on an all-female OB/GYN bowling league, the “storks and stripes”
-Wrote a Jezebel article about how her boss “raped her weekend” in response to being scheduled to work on a Friday
-Sent raunchy horoscope emails to patients
-Had a podcast about her and Danny’s sex life
-Dreamt of starting a company called Delectable Desires, making slutty girdles for the sexually active obese
-Had an online business selling her toenail clippings to a pervert in Idaho
-Cyberbullied stay-at-home-moms on Pinterest
-Reviewed cereals on YouTube
-Wrote an erotic memoir called “Tussled Sheets,” which had the distinction of being printed out at a Kinko’s
-Also wrote a fanfiction version of Gone Girl
-Created a YouTube channel of her and Peter making prank calls to pizza places
-Had a wedding-cake review podcast called Oh No You Fondant
-Was in a steel drum band
-Always ordered bras to the office from “Little Miss Asymmetrical”
-Took a Harry Potter “Which Hogwarts House Are You In?” quiz and got “Dursley”
Celebrity Run-ins
-Snuck onto John Stamos’s party bus
-Sent Christian Slater letters containing her hair
-Broke into Mariah Carey’s penthouse and fell asleep
-Wrote a love letter to Mel Gibson, although to be fair this was in an alternate-reality timeline
-Met the Gyllenhaal siblings at their fictional book signing, prompting Peter Sarsgaard to say “Get the hell away from my wife”
-Tweeted sex and relationship advice at Lady Gaga several times per day
-Bought a drink for Wolf Blitzer; he threw it in her face
-Had a restraining order placed on her by Vera Wang
-Got through spin class by pretending she was running over the body of Michael Jackson’s doctor
-Tried to kiss Jon Hamm at Equinox; later threw herself in front of his car
-Blake Shelton stepped on her neck while auditioning for The Voice to get her to stop singing “Hello”
-Bought one of George W. Bush’s paintings
Infamy-Inducing and/or Shameful Incidents
-Hit on her Chinese delivery man on Valentine’s Day
-Bailed her own mugger out of jail and bought him a sport coat to go on job interviews
-Was profiled in the New York Post for finding a thumb in her taco
-Was banned from Lincoln Center because of their three strikes policy for falling in the fountain
-Had to be airlifted out of a five-k cancer fun run
-Is on the no-fly list
-Got banned from a frozen-yogurt store for committing sample fraud
-Looted during Hurricane Sandy
-Pretended to be in the armed forces so she could board planes early
-Ran for city council to get more trans fats allowed in foods
-Was banned from the Today show just after they lifted the last ban
-Was dubbed Knucklehead of the Week by Sue Simmons for getting her tongue stuck to a Tyrese billboard
-Hit a cyclist with her car and drove off
-Pretended to help out with Hurricane Katrina to get on the cover of her alumni magazine
-Was banned from Michael Jordan’s The Steak House for singing
-Was on the news for climaxing during a TSA patdown
-Was banned from Panera Bread for eating a long baguette in a “lewd manner”
-Streaked at her Princeton reunion
-Got banned from SeaWorld for fighting a penguin
-Got thrown out of a taping of The Nate Berkus Show for doing the “Arsenio”
-Burped so much in the audience of The Dr. Oz Show, they had to throw out the episode
-Was banned from the Apollo by Katt Williams for laughing too hard
-Was featured in Cosmo’s “Fashion Fails” section for having a cameltoe in corduroy shorts
-Has to stay 400 feet away from Carmelo Anthony
-Got blocked by Jessica Chastain on Twitter
