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Mindy Lahiri’s Best Offscreen Gags on The Mindy Project

Mindy Lahiri. Photo: Jordin Althaus/NBC Universal Television/Hulu

For the past five seasons, Mindy Lahiri has been busy working as a successful OB/GYN, completing a fellowship at Stanford, and starting her own fertility clinic. Although she chiefly describes herself as a sedentary rom-com- and sour-straw enthusiast, she gets up to a surprising amount in her spare time. In addition to being a doctor, Mindy is a patron of the arts, an artiste in her own right, and an enterprising businesswoman, with a string of shameful incidents in her past. The following is a selection of Mindy’s best offscreen gags:

Hobbies and Business Ventures

-Played on an all-female OB/GYN bowling league, the “storks and stripes”

-Wrote a Jezebel article about how her boss “raped her weekend” in response to being scheduled to work on a Friday

-Sent raunchy horoscope emails to patients

-Had a podcast about her and Danny’s sex life

-Dreamt of starting a company called Delectable Desires, making slutty girdles for the sexually active obese

-Had an online business selling her toenail clippings to a pervert in Idaho

-Cyberbullied stay-at-home-moms on Pinterest

-Reviewed cereals on YouTube

-Wrote an erotic memoir called “Tussled Sheets,” which had the distinction of being printed out at a Kinko’s

-Also wrote a fanfiction version of Gone Girl

-Created a YouTube channel of her and Peter making prank calls to pizza places

-Had a wedding-cake review podcast called Oh No You Fondant

-Was in a steel drum band

-Always ordered bras to the office from “Little Miss Asymmetrical”

-Took a Harry Potter “Which Hogwarts House Are You In?” quiz and got “Dursley”

Celebrity Run-ins

-Snuck onto John Stamos’s party bus

-Sent Christian Slater letters containing her hair

-Broke into Mariah Carey’s penthouse and fell asleep

-Wrote a love letter to Mel Gibson, although to be fair this was in an alternate-reality timeline

-Met the Gyllenhaal siblings at their fictional book signing, prompting Peter Sarsgaard to say “Get the hell away from my wife”

-Tweeted sex and relationship advice at Lady Gaga several times per day

-Bought a drink for Wolf Blitzer; he threw it in her face

-Had a restraining order placed on her by Vera Wang

-Got through spin class by pretending she was running over the body of Michael Jackson’s doctor

-Tried to kiss Jon Hamm at Equinox; later threw herself in front of his car

-Blake Shelton stepped on her neck while auditioning for The Voice to get her to stop singing “Hello”

-Bought one of George W. Bush’s paintings

Infamy-Inducing and/or Shameful Incidents

-Hit on her Chinese delivery man on Valentine’s Day

-Bailed her own mugger out of jail and bought him a sport coat to go on job interviews

-Was profiled in the New York Post for finding a thumb in her taco

-Was banned from Lincoln Center because of their three strikes policy for falling in the fountain

-Had to be airlifted out of a five-k cancer fun run

-Is on the no-fly list

-Got banned from a frozen-yogurt store for committing sample fraud

-Looted during Hurricane Sandy

-Pretended to be in the armed forces so she could board planes early

-Ran for city council to get more trans fats allowed in foods

-Was banned from the Today show just after they lifted the last ban

-Was dubbed Knucklehead of the Week by Sue Simmons for getting her tongue stuck to a Tyrese billboard

-Hit a cyclist with her car and drove off

-Pretended to help out with Hurricane Katrina to get on the cover of her alumni magazine

-Was banned from Michael Jordan’s The Steak House for singing

-Was on the news for climaxing during a TSA patdown

-Was banned from Panera Bread for eating a long baguette in a “lewd manner”

-Streaked at her Princeton reunion

-Got banned from SeaWorld for fighting a penguin

-Got thrown out of a taping of The Nate Berkus Show for doing the “Arsenio”

-Burped so much in the audience of The Dr. Oz Show, they had to throw out the episode

-Was banned from the Apollo by Katt Williams for laughing too hard

-Was featured in Cosmo’s “Fashion Fails” section for having a cameltoe in corduroy shorts

-Has to stay 400 feet away from Carmelo Anthony

-Got blocked by Jessica Chastain on Twitter

The Mindy Project: Mindy Lahiri’s Best Offscreen Gags