Well, you know what they say: If we don’t immediately riff on terrorism, the terrorists win. In his Monday-night monologue, Stephen Colbert laughed off any lingering anxiety over this morning’s New York Port Authority bombing, during which suspect Akayed Ullah allegedly detonated an improvised suicide vest. (Fortunately, it did not fully explode.) “You tried to terrorize New York subway commuters? Nice try!,” the Late Show host scoffed. “They have to battle rats for the seats. Which, for the record, you should only give up if the rat is pregnant.” Or if it’s Pizza Rat. New Yorkers need to look out for each other, now as ever.