Nobody knows how to talk about the divisive sexual-misconduct claims against Aziz Ansari. Should these SNL dinnergoers discuss it openly and freely at a nice Italian restaurant? Absolutely. Perhaps. Or … probably not. Because as soon as one person opens his mouth, another wants to smash his face into a plate of spaghetti. And when someone else opines about who should receive the bulk of the blame, another cuts her ponytail off in frustration. As perhaps the wisest person says: “Can’t we just go back to the dog?! We were happy when we were talking about the dog!” Not in this postmodern world, buddy.