Eminem tried to warn us that his dating life was in shambles, but who knew it was this bad? Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s a video/documentary/nightmare in which Eminem’s situationship with some woman implodes. “My personal life is not exactly a highlight reel,” he begins. That’s putting it mildly. What follows is the video for his Ed Sheeran collaboration, “River,” a story of Eminem caught in a love triangle that results in him spiraling into an F5 tornado of bad male behavior. A sample line: “You’re saying ‘us’ as in, like, we’re together together. I thought we were just hanging out.” Thought “Love the Way You Lie” was disturbing? Just you wait.