Marvel’s Jessica Jones
Jessica Jones might hate other people, but it turns out she hates solitary even more. We find our heroine, freshly accused of murder, pacing in an itty-bitty cell and punching holes in the walls. Her stolen files are the kindling in a creepy bonfire over at Wig Lady’s idyllic cabin somewhere, along with Wig Lady’s blood-drenched clothes. Does she realize she could get those stains out with cold water? #themoreyouknow
Wig Lady isn’t living in total isolation. A neighbor pops over to listen to her play piano — a tune so soothing, it silences her crying, teething baby — but what starts as a harmless, if tense, rehearsal session gets dark real quick, and the neighbor bolts with her baby while Wig Lady bashes her piano to bits with her bare hands. At least she has a nice fire pit.
Though Jessica would prefer to not tell the police (or anyone) anything, ever, Jeri tells her that the alternative is 18 months in prison. Fortunately, at least one cop remembers what happened with Kilgrave way back in season one — when he mind-controlled all the officers at the station into holding their guns to their temples and nearly forced their simultaneous suicides — and how Jessica saved the day. He believes in Jessica’s innocence and she, in turn, promises to keep him up to speed on her independent investigation.
Back at the office, Malcolm is babysitting Inez, the IGH nurse, who tells him that she kept quiet so she didn’t end up like Luann. Luann, also a nurse, was found dead in some dude’s bathtub. This man named David is doing time for her murder, but our crack team at Alias Investigations thinks Wig Lady is the real killer. After an ill-advised attempt to steal Malcolm’s TV and escape to a pawn shop, Inez agrees to go to a safe house provided by Jeri. Wait, why is Jeri being so generous all of a sudden? Because she wants to know everything about the IGH experiments. Is she hoping one of these off-the-books doctors will do some illegal dark science on her that will cure her ALS? Yeah, probably.
Meanwhile, Jess finds out that David is in a high-security wing at a psych ward. She needs an ID to get in. If only she knew someone, like, say, a cute man who was very recently making out with her and whose self-proclaimed “superpower” is forgery! My heart did this little flutter thing at how happy Oscar was to see Jess, and how he really, really tried to ask her on a date. Naturally, Jess was all thanks but no thanks, I’m just here for your criminal gifts. Later, when she swings by to pick up the new ID, this adorable child — who is the human equivalent of the fish chorus that goes “sha la la la la la kiss the girl!” in The Little Mermaid — begs “superlady” to stay for dinner. Jess declines so she can think and drink alone, smdh.
As The Inviolable Rules of Television Health and Medicine require, Trish, having tried Simpson’s super-drug inhaler a whopping one time, is officially addicted to it. (You’d think a hangover that horrendous would scare her off the stuff but, nope!) Her mom is quite loving toward Trish the helpless invalid, happy to be back in controlling caretaker mode. It’s all very Phantom Thread icky. She claims that Trish — who has been unconscious for a full 26 hours but isn’t going to the hospital because, sure — has an interview with some big cable network. Alas, the whole thing is a ruse because Griffin’s secret plan was … to propose to Trish in front of everyone she knows! GRIFFIN NOOOOOOOOO.
I stand by my initial assessment of this clown, even though he no longer appears to be evil in the traditional, Marvel-villain sense of the word. Still, OF COURSE he’s the kind of monster who would publicly propose to his reluctant girlfriend. He is the worst. As this sequence played out, I just shouted, “NOPE NOPEDY NOPE” at my computer screen. Can’t he tell that her eyes are as red as her dress? Griffin proposes and then he does not wait for Trish’s answer; he just slides the ring on her finger and she says thank you. Thank you is not a yes! Everyone knows that “thank you” is the thing that you say when you can’t say “I love you.” Everyone, that is, except Griffin, who asks, “Thank you means ‘yes,’ right?”
Spoiler alert: It does not mean yes.
The upshot of all this? Not only does Trish break up with Griffin, but when her mother is a bitch about it, Trish open-hand smacks her across the face. Time for another puff on that inhaler!
Let’s veer off to more pleasant stomping grounds: the psych ward. JJ forgot to take the tags off her white coat, but otherwise fools the guards and gets buzzed right in. She finds David in a cage, like what Helena used to be stashed in on Orphan Black. In almost no time at all, she susses out David’s lie and also learns a lot about octopuses. No one knows where octopus genes come from, David says, which is something he learned from Dr. Karl.
Guided by a drawing from David, Jess goes to the aquarium where David says he and the good doctor used to eat lunch every day. She sees Dr. Karl and has a quick shock of a flashback — a memory of him standing over her at IGH — and as she comes back to the present, she realizes he’s with Wig Lady. Like, with her with her. They’re kissing and everything. Until Dr. Karl spots Jessica watching him, at which point Wig Lady smashes the giant fish tank.
As the alarm blares and crowds scatter, Jess loses her targets in the chaos. Bummer, but hey, if she decides to cut her losses and go home, it’s not too late to stop by Oscar’s for dessert.