this deserves a shorty award

The Best Lines Adam Pally Got Through Before He Was Escorted Off the Shorty Awards Stage

At 1:34:00 in the video above, Most Likely to Murder star Adam Pally takes a very different tack than that used by other presenters at last night’s Tenth Annual Shorty Awards. Presumably Pally learned what the Shorty Awards even are mere seconds before going onstage, as that is the only scenario that could explain his total surprise and dismay at being a part of them. Feel free to watch the entire 11-minute segment above or, if you just want the goods without the awkward silences (the Shorty Awards do not like being called the Webby Awards), read Pally’s best, most furious lines below.

On attending this year’s Shorty Awards
“Thank you for having me tonight at the Shorty Awards, the waiting-at-the-DMV of awards shows.”

On being confused about the nature of Shorty Awards
“I do have a few questions about what is happening tonight. I guess I’ll start with, ‘What is going on?’”

On his career, which lead him to the Shorty Awards
“I think a career highlight will be when I’m done.”

On attending, and presenting at, the Shorty Awards
“This is hell.”

On his concern for one of the night’s celebrated attendees
“I’m worried about Backpack Kid. Super worried.”

On his concern for a different Shorty Awards winner
“Remember that winner that was up here saying she was in college to be an engineer but she dropped out to play video games? Don’t do that. Absolutely not. She thinks it worked out for her, but in six months, she’ll be trying to get back into that school.”

On next year’s 11th Annual Shorty Awards
“If you want me to host next year, hard pass.”

On his overall experience presenting at the Shorty Awards
“This is the worst night of my life.”

To the person who shouted, “Delete your account.”
“Delete my account? God, I wish I could.”

The Shorty Awards are an awards show that celebrates social-media producers, influencers, and content.

The Best Lines Adam Pally Got Through at the Shorty Awards