It’s college commencement season, dear readers, when celebrities break out their finest mortarboards and pal around with the youths for the sake of a 15-minute speech. Sometimes, there is serenading. Other times, there is free money. (So many ways to fill up time!) But Michael Keaton decided to hark back to his superhero roots during his recent commencement speech at Kent State — his alma mater — to bestow the following wisdom. “I’ve got two words that I want you all to remember. They’re very important. And if I leave you with anything, I’m going to leave you with these two words,” Keaton explained. “And those two words are, I’m Batman.” If only Alfred could join him.