Let’s start with the ad for the Turks and Caicos Beaches Resort that doubled as the first part of this episode. From fancy drinks upon your arrival to flirty water activities, Beaches Resort has everything you need to throw a beautiful yet ill-advised wedding between two people whose parents do not get along at all and also are way too young to make this sort of commitment. In all honesty, it was advertising money well spent. I cannot be the only person who used the commercial break to check room availability down there. What a paradise! Should they have added a disclaimer reassuring the public, “Don’t worry, there’s not always this much drama?” Probably, but most fans of The Fosters know that this clan packs an extra suitcase of drama wherever they go.
Callie brings two.
Seriously, what is up with Callie Adams Foster? She is in glorious BEACHES RESORT (#NotAnAd #ButItCouldBe #CallMeBeaches) for an all-inclusive vacation, the sun is shining, and a very charming young sir is interested in her even though she continues to be rude to him at every turn. What is there to brood about? Is it because no pair of sunglasses fits her face properly? Like, I get that, but don’t let it ruin Turks and Caicos.
Still, Callie is in a mood thanks to this wedding. Brandon immediately told her about the prenup Eliza’s father wants signed, and Callie is having one of Aaron’s friends look into it. Although Callie’s attitude could use an adjustment, she’s right: If this prenup really didn’t mean anything to Eliza — which is what she tells Brandon repeatedly — the girl would stand up to her parents.
Jim and Diane seem to have power over their daughter, who is trying to please them at every turn. They seem to have power over every aspect of this wedding. They are footing the bill, so it’s partially understandable, but they are cutting out Lena and Stef wherever they can. As if replacing them as officiants isn’t bad enough, Lena and Stef “host” the big rehearsal dinner and Jim and Diane wait until after the Mamas’ cute slideshow to announce they bought Brandon and Eliza a condo and also hired entertainment for the evening. Lena’s powers to hold Stef back from making a scene is slowly waning — just imagine what will happen if they find out about this prenup.
That might never happen though, thanks to Jamie. He hears about the whole debacle and warns Callie that if his father drew up the agreement, it is most definitely not fair to Brandon; Brandon shouldn’t sign it. The dynamic among Eliza’s family is very confusing to me and fingers crossed they have a big blowout before this thing is over. The Adams Fosters shouldn’t be the only family with drama at this wedding.
Callie thinks the news about the prenup should come from Eliza, and the kind offer throws Eliza off, now that she knows Brandon and Callie were in love back in the day. She makes sure Callie knows she knows before having a heart-to-heart with B.
Finally, all the tension that’s been simmering between Eliza and Brandon comes to a head on the eve of their wedding in the middle of a nightclub, as is tradition. They argue about the prenup, about Eliza’s parents, and about Brandon taking a gig during their wedding and honeymoon (film-scoring gigs don’t come along every day, let the man work!). It was a long time coming. Brandon storms off. Anyone betting against this wedding happening is feeling good right now.
The one nice thing to come out of the prenup drama is that Callie has let her guard down around Jamie. He walks her home from the impromptu bachelorette/bachelor party at the club and tells Callie — who opens up about it being a long time since her last relationship — that he’s interested in her. But, like, not just in a slutty wedding-sex kind of way. The sexual tension is through the roof, yet still, Callie is able to walk away. Does she have superpowers?
OF COURSE as she walks to her room, she spots Brandon brooding by the pool. She tells B that Eliza knows they have a history, and B tells Callie that he’s having doubts about marrying Eliza. No one has ever understood him like Callie. They trust each other more than anyone else in the world. Brallie alarms are going off. They almost kiss. What the hell is this? Didn’t Lena and Stef just have that awkward conversation with Jim and Diane about real parents versus birth parents? They would be appalled to see what’s going down poolside.
Thankfully, Callie gets out of the situation before it is too late to turn back. The show deploys some fancy editing to make it look as though once back in her room, Callie thinks it over and just can’t resist Brandon. The episode ends with her knocking on a hotel room door and someone knocking on Brandon’s door. But TV fans have seen this before. Here’s hoping that Callie is knocking on Jamie’s door for a hot hookup and Eliza is coming to smooth things over with Brandon.
And then there was one. The final episode of The Fosters is shaping up to be a full-on explosion of drama and I am very much here for it.
In Other Family News
• Sadly, the Adams Fosters are light one kid when they arrive in Turks and Caicos: Corey’s mother has won unsupervised visitation rights and successfully had the judge stop Lena and Stef from taking Corey out of the country for the wedding. What does this mean for his impending adoption?
• The Jude drama continues! Callie confronts Jude about the PrEP pills and he promptly puts her in her self-righteous place, reminding her that he’s being responsible by taking those pills and, oh yeah, she’s been nonexistent in his life the past year, so why have an opinion now? Still, both she and the Mamas are concerned that something is really off with Jude. Jude’s too busy to have a heart-to-heart since Carter decides to get wasted, kiss Jude, and cry himself to sleep. This wedding is crazy.
• Just when you think Jim and Diane can’t get any worse, it’s clear they’re concerned about Carter hanging out with Jude. And when they see them splashing around in the water together, they are very concerned. A gay son would ruin the family reputation, you see. Here’s hoping Jude inspires Carter to stand up to his parents.
• The twin fighting escalates! Mariana tries to block Jesus from hooking up with a bridesmaid with some awkward group dancing, but eventually Jesus can’t take it anymore. He tells his sister to take a job as far away from him as possible before running off to hard-core hook up with that bridesmaid.
• At the rehearsal dinner, Mariana and Mat perform one of Brandon’s songs (of course it is “Outlaws,” the secret Brandon and Callie love anthem) and are reminded why they fell in love in the first place. Is this relationship pure and true, or is it toxic? I’m torn.
• Lena may be running for a state assembly seat! It’s in a different district, hence the talk about selling the house. This seems right for Lena; I’m just sad we’ll be deprived of election-dramatics goodness. Think of the rousing campaign speeches we’ll miss!