last night on late night

Stephen Colbert Celebrates DOJ Arrest of Alleged Hackers (Arby’s Hackers. Don’t Get Too Excited.)

If you’re truly honest with yourself, what would you less like to see exposed to the searing light of day: the vulnerable inner-workings of America’s voting system, or how much you spend at Chipotle, Chili’s and Arby’s combined? It might be a toss-up at this point, but at least the three accused Ukrainian hackers who allegedly targeted the chain restaurants have been arrested, a fact Stephen Colbert celebrated on Friday night. “Why are Eastern Europeans always trying to destroy us?” he wondered. “Is it because they’ve tasted Arby’s? We’re sorry! We don’t know what to do!” Now, do you think it would help the Department of Justice at all, forensics-wise, if we just went ahead and voted at Arby’s? We’re clearly constantly there anyway. Definitely something to think about for 2020.

Stephen Colbert Celebrates DOJ Arrest of Arby’s Hackers