It’s been a rough week, as is every week when 99.9 percent of us are left to refresh Twitter in dry-mouthed horror, unable to personally affect the nonstop cacophony of the world around us. Samantha Bee feels your pain, and offered a little off-schedule live stream about the Senate Judiciary Committee’s Brett Kavanaugh hearings. “Yesterday a bunch of super-powerful white dudes stood up and yelled at rape survivors for messing up their schedule. So I needed to either yell into a camera or eat an entire confetti cake,” the Full Frontal host explained. “Honestly, I choose both.”
Continued Bee, “I’m not sure exactly what’s happening with Kavanaugh’s confirmation, but I do know that a bunch of shriveled old scrotums went on TV and basically told the world that any Ivy League choad’s career ambitions are worth more than all the women he may have hurt on his way there.” But while that might seem like the exact opposite of the sentiment you want to hear right now, Bee also has some thoughts on how you can relax and allow yourself a modicum of joy.
Her suggestions? “The exquisite rage-contouring on Alyssa Milano’s face, meeting new dogs and my life-sized cardboard cutout of Lindsay Graham.” Oh, also, anticipating the “massive wave of female rage” that will sweep more female candidates into office, post-Anita Hill-style. Maybe these aren’t your exact go-to pick-me-ups, so get out there and live it up in whatever way keeps you going through the weekend. Because, hey, we have no idea what unspeakable things are going to happen next week!