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Colbert Imagines What Fun New JFK Conspiracy Theory Trump Will Spread About “Beautiful” Ted Cruz

Now that President Trump has thrown his support behind former rival Ted Cruz, he could hypothetically walk back that conspiracy theory he propagated about Cruz’s father being a part of the JFK assassination plot. Instead, when asked if he regretted repeating the extremely unfounded rumor, Trump told reporters, “I don’t regret anything, honestly. It all worked out very nicely.”

While an apology might be out of the question, Trump did go ahead and change Cruz’s famous nickname from “Lyin’ Ted” to “Beautiful Ted,” a switcheroo that had Stephen Colbert wondering if maybe, just maybe, Trump would be willing to tweak the JFK conspiracy theory, too. Of course there will still be one, but in this new, kinder, gentler era, maybe everyone can baselessly believe Ted Cruz’s gorgeous dad just had a Marilyn Monroe–style affair with JFK? That way POTUS can cultivate a total fabrication and Ted Cruz doesn’t have to work hand-in-hand with a man who accused his dad of working with Lee Harvey Oswald. It’s a win-win, while also somehow being a lose-lose.

Colbert Pitches New JFK Conspiracy About ‘Beautiful’ Ted