merch of the damned

We Are Deeply Saddened to Inform You Marilyn Manson Is Selling a Dildo With His Face on It

Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Remember when your parents used to check your Halloween candy for needles and cyanide? Well, they should have just let that shit ride, because now you’re alive to see the manufacture and sale of a Marilyn Manson brand dildo, complete with Marilyn Manson’s little face on it. As the singer announced on his Instagram, for a mere $125, you can be the proud owner of the signature dildo, a very lovely velvet carrying pouch, and another life choice that will at some point in the future give you profound, soul-rattling pause.

Whether you’re a committed goth couple who met during Manson’s 1997 Dead to the World Tour and need to keep things spooky, or just a weird person who doesn’t really care one way or another about his music but have extremely upsetting taste in dildos, this product is for you. And if you thought waiting two decades after rising to stardom to release a disturbing branded dildo was scary, please also consider the online product description, specifically the words “May fade with multiple uses.”

Marilyn Manson Is Selling a Dildo With His Face on It