On Thursday, actress and model Kim Porter died at the age of 47. Today, Porter’s ex-boyfriend and father to her three youngest children, Sean “Diddy” Combs, posted a video tribute to his “soulmate” on Instagram. “For the last three days I’ve been trying to wake up out of this nightmare. But I haven’t,” he wrote. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you baby. I miss you so much. Today I’m going to pay tribute to you, I’m going to try and find the words to explain our unexplainable relationship.”
After getting together in 1994, Diddy and Porter dated, sometimes on and off, for thirteen years until ending their relationship in July 2007. In addition to parenting the pair’s children Christian, D’Lila Star and Jessie James, she was also mother to eldest son Quincy from an earlier relationship, who Diddy helped raise from childhood. He, too, posted to Instagram about her passing on Sunday. “I am broken … & the only thing that makes sense right now is that you were way too good for this silly world we live in,” he wrote. While Porter reportedly battled what was believed to be pneumonia or influenza in the weeks leading to her demise, which allegedly resulted in cardiac arrest, no official cause of death has been released.