Now that everyone’s least favorite country bumpkin lawyer, Jeff Sessions, is packing up and leaving the White House for good, Robert Mueller was nice enough to realize this called for a farewell gift worthy of his legacy. But what could he possibly give the elfish attorney general that he doesn’t already have in his tree and birthing box? “You know in Harry Potter, when an elf gets a piece of clothing, it sets them free? This is for you,” Mueller explained, handing him a piece of toilet paper from the bottom of Trump’s shoe. “I’ll cherish this,” he coos in response. Acorns also would’ve been appreciated for the long winter, but Sessions is still ecstatic. Will he … frame it? Sniff it?