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The Villain in the Next Aquaman Movie Should Be This Terrible Aquaman-Themed Dildo

Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures & DC Comics

Boy, and you thought that Shape of Water dildo was bad! It was, but joining it in the Hall of Famously Bad Sex Toys is this Aquaman-themed dildo spotted by Mashable. Produced by a company called (reasonably enough) Geeky Sex Toys, the Aquamoan (!!!) seems to be wearing its own, smaller version of Aquaman’s costume? Hey, if we’ve already turned our eyes away from God, why not go the whole nine yards and point them right down at the bottom of the ocean?

“Let the King of the Seven Seas swim into the deepest darkest depths of your downstairs today!” the product description declares. It should also go without saying that this dildo is waterproof. Only 500 toys will reportedly be made, so you’d better act fast. Looks like Jason Momoa won’t be the only one with soaking wet jeans this Christmas! (Editor’s note: Aquaman has already been called to take this entire post to sea prison.)

The Villain in the Next Aquaman Should Be This Aquaman Dildo