Maybe it was the two hosts who committed hard to goofiness, maybe it was the list of winners that varied from nice surprises to baffling selections, but this year more than ever, the Golden Globes committed to its trademark vibe of Hollywood’s biggest drunk group hang. Sandra Oh and Andy Samberg filled out their hosting duties by aggressively complimenting the rest of the room. Chris Pine’s Jeff Bridges-esque facial hair presented an award to Jeff Bridges. Glenn Close moved the room to a standing ovation. Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody were somehow the night’s biggest winners. Somehow, there was also time for Taylor Swift to appear and for drama (maybe) to bloom between Chrissy Metz and Alison Brie. Like a complimentary bottle of Moët, there’s a lot to digest quickly, so we’ve broken down the key moments of the evening, from the highs to the lows and even the whoas.
LOW: Chris Messina — Hollywood’s best (and sweatiest) Chris under six feet tall — debuted arctic silver hair on the red carpet. It’s probably for his role as Harley Quinn baddie Victor Zsasz, but still … do not want!
LOW: Ryan Seacrest’s appearance on the E! Red Carpet. After being accused of sexual assault by a former stylist last February, Seacrest was back on the Red Carpet for the Globes this year, happily smiling as if nothing had happened, and even discussing the fact he was wearing a Time’s Up x2 wristband as if nothing had happened. Time is certainly taking a long time to be up.
HIGH: The unwavering commitment of the Fiji water girl on the red carpet.
HIGH: Timothée Chalamet’s harness. No, we will not be taking questions.
HIGH: Sandra Oh razzing Lady Gaga by quoting her favorite “100 people in a room” verbatim in her opening monologue. Gaga and Cooper love each other very much, but they love their rote press tour anecdotes even more. Still, this is all going much better than what happened to Ally at her big awards show.
WHOA: When Andy Samberg introduced Black Panther in the opening monologue, he said that as a kid growing up in the Bay Area, he never would have imagined that a movie called Black Panther would feature Oakland so prominently. “Just kidding, they were all framed and murdered for wanting justice and equality, the world is and has always been a nightmare,” he said quickly, too fast for the audience (including director Ryan Coogler!) to realize that he was right!
HIGH: Very sweet man Ben Whishaw sweetly shouts out the “true queer hero and icon” Norman Scott when winning for A Very English Scandal.
HIGH: Carol Burnett’s touching speech about her love of television after winning the first Carol Burnett Award. Back in Burnett’s day, they had 28-piece orchestras and variety shows with big budgets and now we only have “YouTube and reruns.” That’s kind of a tragic thing to say about the state of entertainment, but when Carol Burnett says it, it’s somehow still charming and sweet.
WHOA: Taylor Swift’s surprise entrance to present Best Score and Best Original Song, accompanying Idris Elba and introduced as his “Cats co-star.” The all-A-list Cats movie definitely still does not exist, but we’re happy that Hollywood is keeping up the pretense.
HIGH: Regina King gives an acceptance speech so good they have to stop playing her off so she can finish talking. King thanked all her Beale Street collaborators, then pivoted to a larger point about how people in Hollywood can make a difference by virtue of the fact that they are given microphones, and also promised to produce projects with 50 percent female staffs. A whole essay in one speech!
HIGH: Sandra Oh — I don’t know a better person! After Oh won the Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a TV Series — Drama, she stepped onstage and continued her hosting duties with the trophy in tow. Wouldn’t you?
WHOA: After winning Best Actor in a Comedy for playing Dick Cheney in Vice, Christian Bale says, “Thank you, Satan, for inspiration.”
LOW: Jeff Bridges gave a lengthy speech while accepting the year’s Cecil B. DeMille award. The fact that presenter Chris Pine seemed to be the only person enjoying it was both sweet and charming (and a testament to his being the best Chris!).
LOW: Chuck Lorre, after The Kominsky Method pulled out a Best Comedy win, runs out of things to say in his rambling acceptance speech, which somehow involved the Time Warner merger, and resorts to just repeating “Netflix, Netflix, Netflix.” Whatever, whatever, whatever.
HIGH: Olivia Colman accepting the Golden Globe for Best Actress — Comedy or Musical, and thanking her co-stars Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz. But because she’s Olivia Colman she thanks “[her] bitches.”
LOW: Green Book wins Best Comedy. Peter Farrelly decides now is the time to give an extended lecture explaining how Green Book is a way to heal the country and “all we have to do is talk and not judge people by their differences,” and, and … Anyway, he shouted down the music playing him off to explain the whole movie and you just don’t get to do that if you’re not Regina King!
HIGH: Glenn Close’s reaction to her own win for The Wife. Close probably thought Lady Gaga was going to win, too, and previously insisted she thought her own nomination was a butt dial. Close delivered a heartfelt speech about how her own, oft-overlooked mother inspired her character, and how the role taught her that we “have to follow our dreams.” She insisted that women can “do that, and should be allowed to do that.”
WHOA: Rami Malek wins Best Actor in a Drama, and Bohemian Rhapsody wins Best Drama. Everyone thanks Queen and shouts-out the power of believing in yourself, and very, very carefully avoids mentioning Bryan Singer.