As eminent scholar Mr. Redfoo once said, “Party Rock is in the house tonight, everybody just have a good time.” YOU GUYS. The Coterie has an anthem and it belongs to LMFAO. What a treat! These young, cool L.A. hipster-types jam out to the same song as me, an old dork! As glorious a revelation as this is, I do seriously question if Gael, Sensitive Clay Sex God, would actually ever dance to this song. And Callie?
Yes, you read that right: Callie dances her little heart out at the epic house party thrown by the Coterie. (Another clue that I’m an old lady: Throughout the episode, my most pressing question was, will Alice have to clean up this entire party by herself? What a mess!) She’s having so much fun and really letting, it’s honestly a shame both her personal and professional lives are being thrown into such turmoil. That’s Callie Adams Foster for ya, I guess — nothing can ever be too good!
There is one silver lining to Callie’s troubled evening: Jude is there! I wasn’t prepared for a visit from another Adams Foster so soon, but Jude is a college sophomore living in L.A., why wouldn’t he come to his sisters’ party? It feels natural. It feels right. I’m happy to see him, even if I will never get used to watching him drink and talk about his sex life. He’s our little Judicorn, after all! For inquiring Fosters fans: Jude’s doing much better with school this year — and he’s still getting hella laid, so good for Jude.
Although Jude pretty much breaks even when it comes to helping or hurting Callie’s situation. It is because of Jude that Callie ditches her work responsibilities — girl, if you really want to get work done instead of going to the giant party being thrown in your building, stay at the office next time, okay? — to attend the drunkfest downstairs.
Once released from the shackles of the law and in a cute outfit, Callie easily goes from responsible to shit-faced like a true 20-something. She leaves her phone in the bathroom, which eventually falls into the hands of Mariana, who keeps it to ensure that her sister has a good time. Of course, this means she misses an extremely important call from Judge Wilson, who wants the clerks in the office immediately — Jamal Thompson’s mother has filed a last-minute motion after learning that the police are refusing to hand over 911 calls from the night of his death and fears that they are going to destroy evidence. Callie only learns about the motion through Malika and her friends, who follow Jamal’s mother on Twitter. I know we have bigger issues to deal with this evening, but this whole living-with-someone-so-involved-in-her-case thing is definitely going to blow up in Callie’s face, right? While Callie’s dealing both with the fact that Malika told her friends she’s clerking the Thompson case and that she’s way too drunk to go into the office, Ben and Rebecca are pulling a late night which ends with Rebecca getting to write a memo for Wilson — one she so desperately wanted to write in the first place. With Callie gone, all of Rebecca’s conservative dreams are coming true!
Thank goodness Jude is there. After Callie tries to talk to her brother about it by awkwardly and somewhat aggressively bringing up the fact that he admitted he sleeps with guys who have girlfriends, she eventually opens up about Gael. She isn’t bi-phobic, but she is processing the fact that the guy she likes also likes men. It’s new! And Jude says that’s okay. Jude is so wise. Except for that whole gaming thing he got into. That was not wise.
Later, as Callie is trying not to completely freak out about her work situation, she finds herself on the rooftop with Gael. Where they are sitting is completely unsafe and I told you I’m old and also get down from there, kids! Regardless of the seating arrangement: Um, Gael is such a dreamboat. He assures Callie she can confide in him about work, and he is sincere and vulnerable and endearingly self-conscious when talking about his sexuality with Callie. He’s relieved when Callie tells him Mariana is fine with them seeing each other and that she’d like to continue their relationship or whatever it is. He is doubly relieved when she says she’s okay with him also seeing Bryan. They’re casual after all.
Aw, honey, that’s so cute. Gael will learn fast that Callie has never been “casual” a day in her life.
Callie’s woes take up the bulk of the hour. Here’s hoping this is not a trend, because although I already like Callie more than I ever did on The Fosters — she makes more sense as a 23-year-old than as a 16-year-old — Mariana and their new friends at the Coterie are just as interesting as Callie. Mariana’s storyline — she’s still dealing with her misogynistic co-workers — feels both particularly timely and relatable.
Mariana is still working to earn the respect of her team leader, Alex — now he is calling her tenacity “abrasive,” because he’s The World’s Worst — but isn’t getting anywhere. Alex keeps having “Team Nights Out” and not including Mariana, which leaves her behind at work. She invites all three of the guys to the party in an attempt to win them over, but they pass — and head off to do their own thing once again. Mariana is rightly pissed off when she discovers this, and Davia, seeing her friend down, tries to help teach the boys a lesson in what they’re missing out on. Her Instagram Live on Mariana’s page takes things a little too far — she calls Alex an asshole — but before Mariana can delete it, Alex has already seen it. Hm, he sure is checking up on the Instagram of a girl he seems to hate pretty quickly. WHAT’S THAT ABOUT, AL?
The whole thing sends Mariana into a tailspin and she spends most of the night drunkenly texting and calling Alex to apologize, talk about work, run some ideas by him, and apologize again. It’s not a cute look, and Mariana knows it. Like Callie, she’s dreading going into work on Monday.
Ah, the price one pays for shots on shots on shots.
• We’re only two episodes in and I am already completely invested in the other members of the Coterie gang. I mean, Alice? Poor, sad, will-have-so-much-cleaning-to-do-tomorrow Alice? She’s in love with her ex-girlfriend-turned-best-friend, Sumi, who very obviously takes advantage of that. Sumi bursts into the party to announce she’s engaged. Think it can’t get worse? She asks Alice to be her maid of honor.
• And then there’s Davia, drinking shots to all of her online trolls (people are the worst). They don’t seem to bother her — but a hurtful message left by her mother definitely does. There’s lots to explore here! I am interested.
• Good Trouble is showing another side to growing up in the foster care system with the introduction of Malika and her estranged older brother. Malika called CPS on her mother when she was only 10 because they were starving. Once in the system, she and her brother were split up and it looks like things were tough on him. He’s there to tell Malika that their mother is really sick. More of this soon, please!
• Okay, what was up with that whole Ben-lying-to-Rebecca-about-the-coin-flip-for-who-got-to-write-the-bench-memo thing? Does he have a crush on Rebecca, and so wanted to give her something she desperately wanted without revealing his feelings, or is he just lazy without wanting to look that way? He also took some work off of Callie’s plate when he saw she was buried — that doesn’t seem like a lazy person. All of his actions are so conflicting! Still, the romantic in me is hoping for a good Ben-Rebecca make-out sesh at some point. Preferably near a stack of books. WE ALL HAVE OUR THINGS.
• “I’m actually, like, really fun to hang out with.”