It seems like eons ago that Jon Snow died, stayed dead for a while, and was then revived by some spooky Melisandre magic. We have other Game of Thrones things to worry about now! But the actor behind everyone’s favorite floppy-haired bastard, Kit Harington, says we all collectively made the year in between his death and resurrection an absolute hell for him, thanks to the Big Brother–esque scrutiny he faced at every moment. “It wasn’t a very good time in my life,” Harington told Variety. “I felt I had to feel that I was the most fortunate person in the world, when actually, I felt very vulnerable. I had a shaky time in my life around there — like I think a lot of people do in their 20s. That was a time when I started therapy, and started talking to people. I had felt very unsafe, and I wasn’t talking to anyone. I had to feel very grateful for what I have, but I felt incredibly concerned about whether I could even fucking act.” Harington likened this cliffhanger as his “darkest period” on the show and “fucking terrifying,” which was only made worst due to Game of Thrones being at the height of its power.
“You get people shouting at you on the street, ‘Are you dead?’ At the same time you have to have this appearance,” Harington added. “All of your neuroses — and I’m as neurotic as any actor — get heightened with that level of focus.” Lucky for him, he only has six more episodes to deal with.
Read Vulture’s guide to every Game of Thrones season, recapped and explained.