If you think the college bribery scandal is affecting the inner workings of all of those Class of 2023 admissions decisions, let us remind you of the power of deans not giving a shit. Money is power, power is money, money is guaranteed admission! Did you know the very dumb heir to the Keebler Elf fortune is looking to be an undergrad? As is the grandson of a very C-list actor? Oh yeah, and the women’s crew team needs a few slots, which is very legit and shouldn’t be questioned at all! All of this is very, very, very legal.