No collusion, no diggity, no bad. The holy goddamn Mueller report is trickling down various chains of command in the White House, and while there’s no definitive conclusion about any obstruction of justice, Robert Mueller, noob William Barr, and President Trump sure have wildly different ideas about what this report means for us all. It’s 380 pages, jeez! “This is the only thing I’ll talk about for the next four years,” Trump insists. “We’re going to black out everything except no and collusion.” We’d laugh, but Trump is now branding himself as “FDR with legs,” so that’s something.