Vincent D’Onofrio Takes You On a Deep Dive Into His (Extremely Reasonable) Fear of Monkeys

Photo: Emma McIntyre/Getty Images

Are snakes and spiders just not cutting it anymore? Are you done with teeny tiny little holes and/or heights? Then has Vincent D’Onofrio got a new phobia for you! In a Twitter thread posted this weekend, the Ratched star simultaneously revealed and fully, reasonably, logically explained his lifelong fear of monkeys, which, like most horrible nightmares, was born in a Florida monkey park. Which, if you think about it, is just a classy way of saying “monkey jail and poop emporium you pay to get into.”

“It squirted down upon the visitors.” Wow. The Godfather of Harlem actor goes on to paint a vivid picture of a terrifying simian prison, characterized mostly by the frequency and quantity of monkey screams. If that wasn’t enough to solidify a permanent phobia, something even more chilling happened when the actor was an adult shooting in Brazil: A monkey tried to mug Vincent D’Onofrio at an ATM.

Kind of makes your fears pale in comparison, doesn’t it? Unless, of course, somehow the monkeys got in cahoots with the spiders and snakes. And, God help you, they all managed to get on your flight …

Vincent D’Onofrio Shares His Nightmarish Monkey Experiences