Comedian Daniel Sloss gave Conan a Scottish history lesson, mostly about poop but also a little about the plague. According to Sloss, “shit-faced” is a Scottish phrase, which comes from being so drunk in the Middle Ages that you don’t notice that people are throwing excrement out of their windows. But according to a 2011 Slate article, shit-faced may actually come from a false cognate, the Middle English chit-faced. Chit-faced was a description of someone with a childlike face, as “chit” meant both child and kitten. Chit-faced was still Scottish in origin, so now I feel like a shit-for-brains for quibbling.