Jennifer Lawrence and her fiancé, the guy with that name who phonetically reminds you of 30 Rock, basked in the glory of a very special portrait on the streets of New York City yesterday afternoon. But it’s quite obviously not just any special portrait, dear readers: It’s them in all their canvas glory, depicted in a way that would even make the Ecce Homo artist skeptical. How do we know it’s Lawrence and Cooke Maroney? Well, we have eyes and bought these paparazzi photos that confirm such a thing — as do their matching outfits — but what we don’t know is if they (1) commissioned it, (2) requested such a specific Cubism–meets–Cartoon Network style, and (3) actually like it. Should the artist be reading this, please contact Vulture ASAP. We want something conceptual for our next round of staff photos.
Extremely important update, 1:54 p.m.: We can confirm the artist has emailed us and identified himself as Joel Mesler, an art dealer and painter. “I’ve just been painting portraits this week and they wanted their portrait painted,” he told Vulture. “I just paint that way cause it’s the best I can do.”