single and ready to mingle

Will Someone Please Date Charlize Theron Already?

Photo: Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for CinemaCon

You know that meme from Titanic where Old Rose is saying “It’s been 84 years,” and staring off into the distance? That’s Charlize Theron right now. Girl has not had a date since 2015. “I’m shockingly available,” Theron said at CinemaCon, according to ET Canada. Her Long Shot co-star Seth Rogen is willing to wingman, telling the crowd, “She’s out there!” Theron’s last public relationship was with Sean Penn, from 2012 to 2015. Since then, according to Theron, no one has been willing to “grow a pair and step up.” But that’s not how dating works now, Charlize! We have apps. Are you on the apps? Theron was linked to Brad Pitt earlier this year. But sources told People that nothing was going on between the two — and that Theron is still desperately alone and standing mournfully on a dock under the moonlight when not making movies, or starring in fragrance ads about how desirable she is.

Will Someone Please Date Charlize Theron Already?