For a few weeks now, we here at Vulture.com have been pretty chill about being written out of the Always Be My Maybe origin story. (No, it wasn’t “fans” that asked for Ali Wong and Randall Park to write a romantic comedy — we willed it into being.) So what! Who cares! The internet’s memory is only a couple days long anyway! We’re making up an excuse to cancel our plans to stay home and press play on Always Be My Maybe tonight like the rest of you!
That said, sometimes, when the mood and caffeine and insults strike us, we must take a stand against erasure: On Friday morning a little website called “GQ.com” posted a list titled “The Best Media Tote Bags, Ranked.”
Friends: There have been four widely distributed Vulture tote bags. Not one of those four made it on GQ’s list.
Would you like to see a Vulture tote, out in the wild? Here’s one. This particular tote is being carried by Atlanta actress Zazie Beetz, probably on an A train:
Oh? What’s this? Spotted: Insecure’s Jay Ellis! With a Vulture tote! Huh, weird. Seems like we should’ve been on GQ’s media tote list.
Would you like to see another Vulture tote? Okay, here’s Riverdale star Lili Reinhart (and her boyfriend, Riverdale star Cole Sprouse) carrying the tote we gave to talent at the 2017 Vulture Festival in New York City. Is it a weird shade of green? Perhaps. But it’s also as big as Adam Driver!
New York Media — our parent company — had a tote on GQ’s list. That tote is fine. (Don’t tell them we said that.) But a Vulture tote? Not on the list. Saddest Command+F of my life, if I’m being honest.
We don’t know who this gentleman below is but he is very handsome and we found him on Getty Images looking chic with the tote:
In conclusion: Roses are red. Our totes are the best. Here’s a dog in a Vulture bag — yes, we’re a little pressed!