Bad Bunny Is Wild in the Streets, Tender in the Tweets

Before I post a pic, should I flex? Yeah, I should. Photo: Bad Bunny/Instagram

Bad Bunny, the bad bitch of Latin trap and our rightful Champagne Papi, goes hard in his verses, hard in music videos, and somehow even harder in photo shoots. But on Twitter, a place where, historically, rappers go harder than they can back up, Bad Bunny is at his softest. His tweets read like Jason Mraz lyrics. Co-Star could start posting them as horoscopes. Bad Bunny fits right in with tweeters like Noah Centineo (“I really wish I could watch myself grow up”). The content typically is cringey and reminiscent of early 2010s Tumblr. But when Bad Bunny does it, it’s … kind of hot? While his lyrics can be sweet and sensitive, his Twitter is like falling into a romantic comedy. And we are falling hard. Maybe it’s because we know, somewhere in the world, Bad Bunny is typing with neon-green stiletto nails or as he walks off a basketball court. Here are some of the tenderest Bad Bunny tweets of 2019 so far.

If looks could kill, yours made love to me.

He’s lyrical, even on the TL.

You look like you smell pretty.

I had no idea a tweet could be so intimate. It’s like his face is right there, green acrylic nails caressing your cheek.

You talk as if you know me.

This tweet is in ALL LOWERCASE with no punctuation or emoji, so why am I blushing?

Sometimes I wonder if I was born in the right era.

He had to have just finished watching The Notebook. Or, at least, that Keeping Up With the Kardashians scene where Scott tries to be like Noah. Either of those would have me questioning the present.

If I could, I would ask you to return all of the kisses I gave you.

This is the definition of “dreamy.” This is the kind of sensitive, yet strong-willed stuff TV movie protagonists just fall head over heels for. He’s been wronged and now he deals with his pain through art? Game over!

Those that want you today are the same ones that will forget you tomorrow.

Picture him saying this with the prosthetic third eye on his forehead.

Don’t bother getting to know a person so much. How many times have you done it, and end up in disappointment until they go out of your life? So, you never know anyone 100%. Enjoy that person while you can, and recognize their virtues even if there are not many.

For those of you who do not believe in astrology but do need a daily sermon, Bad Bunny’s Twitter feed delivers. (For those of you who do believe, Bad Bunny is a Pisces and, yes, that does explain everything.)

If I’m a good person, why do you treat me like this?

Baby, who hurt you?

I can listen to you all day.

Even though they deny that they’re dating, this tweet has to be about Rosalía (a.k.a. the only person he follows on Twitter, and vice versa for her. [Insert side third eye here]), simply because it’s exactly how I feel about Rosalía.

Sometimes I put on a seat belt just to feel something hold me.

This is the ultimate Bad Bunny tweet. It’s introspective, but also about love. It’s a little ridiculous, but completely earnest. It feels like it should be under a grainy, over-filtered bathroom-mirror selfie, but it’s actually just a few tweets above a photo shoot where Bad Bunny is wearing massive platinum chains and holding a Styrofoam cup between baby-blue-painted fingers. I think about this tweet, wow, at least once a day when I’m in cars, when I’m on the subway, when I’m lying in bed at night. Please, someone hold Bad Bunny immediately.

Bad Bunny Is Wild in the Streets, Tender in the Tweets