A Guide to Talking to Your Loved Ones About Motion Smoothing

Tom Cruise and Mission: Impossible — Fallout director Christopher McQuarrie beg you to turn motion smoothing off. Photo: YouTube

There are few things worse than motion smoothing: adult men who don’t own dress shoes, a long line at airport security, pushing a door clearly marked “pull.” If you or someone in your family has been affected by motion smoothing, your situation is dire but not irreversible. It might be time to sit them down and have the talk. The people in your life, God love them, won’t care about all the ins and outs of motion smoothing, how it happened, or why it’s bad. They just need a smooth, short pitch. Here’s how to talk the loved ones in your life into handing over the remote and reversing their sins.

For your sister, who is a cool teen and doesn’t care: “Motion smoothing wouldn’t have eaten the peach in Call Me by Your Name.”

For your brother, who doesn’t think you know what you’re talking about: “It’s that thing that makes everything look like a bad British soap opera.”

For your dad, who doesn’t know what motion smoothing is: “You didn’t want to learn how to text, but look how great that’s been! Motion smoothing is, you know, like that.”

For the dog, who just wants bacon: “Cats love motion smoothing.”

For Marianne Williamson, who is running for president: “Motion smoothing is the enemy of Avatar.”

For your significant other: “The motion smoothing, or me.”

For your date: “Motion smoothing is the equivalent of saying your political opinion is ‘moderate’ on a dating app.”

For your mom, who would really rather you just get home at a reasonable time tonight: “Aunt Debra loves motion smoothing, that’s how you know it’s bad.”

For your Aunt Debra: “Hey, where’s your clicker?”

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A Guide to Talking to Your Loved Ones About Motion Smoothing