After nearly an entire summer of teasing us with the prospect of Luke P.’s demise, The Bachelorette finally delivered on Hannah Brown dumping his ass in the middle of a Santorini rainstorm. And, dare we say, it was of epic, biblical proportions. With Monday’s episode dedicating around 30 minutes to the showdown, Brown broke up with Luke due to their clashing values about sex: He believed that Brown, should she have engaged in sexual relations with another contestant, would not be “pure” enough for him as a wife, and he would thus “100 percent” go home. Brown pushed back hard on Luke’s religious ideology, particularly after he insisted he could try to work through and forgive her sexual “slip-ups.” One middle-finger salute later, Brown happily eliminated him and enjoyed a glass (or three) of Asyrtiko.
We won’t bore you with Luke’s broken “God came to me in the shower” anecdote, so instead, please enjoy Brown’s best quotes from their breakup.
“Why do you have the right to do that? You’re not my husband.”
“Oh, you’re willing to work through this? I’m a grown woman who can make her own decisions, and I’m not attached to a man right now.”
“The words that you’re saying are really not okay. It’s not okay.”
“Our relationship gave me so much hope, and then all this shit kept happening. I’ve broken my own heart because I’ve ignored all of the red flags.”
“I could’ve crossed you off so many times from being my husband.”
“I want somebody who can get along with people and doesn’t have pride issues.”
“Fuck you, dude.”
“You know the story in the Bible when the woman was called out for adultery, and she was stoned in the village, and Jesus said, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. You’re holding your stone up at me and asking me what I’ve done.”
“You’ve not shown respect for any of the guys here and I’ve finally seen that, and you haven’t shown any respect to me right now.”
“I’ve prayed so much for clarity, and I feel like I’ve finally gotten clarity on this. I feel like I don’t want you to be my husband.”
“I don’t owe you anything. I have bent over backwards for this relationship, so I don’t owe you anything.”
“I answer to the Lord, I don’t answer to Luke!”
“I have had sex, and Jesus still loves me. From obviously how you feel, me fucking in a windmill, you probably want to leave. And my husband would never say what you said to me.”
“I’m relieved I’ll never have to see him again.”