Thanks to Bachelor Nation having a deep, profound loathing of Luke P. on The Bachelorette, the show has been unprecedentedly teasing his demise in previews for the past few weeks: What we know is, during his “fantasy suite” date with Hannah Brown, she sends him home due to his antiquated (and dare we say, just plain sexist) views about premarital sex. And in this week’s episode, we’re given another teaser about the Grecian dinner from hell that ends with Brown giving Luke the (literal) middle finger, and it is a gift. Because, dear readers, our leading lady boned. In a windmill. With another contestant. Twice. And she’d do it again. “From obviously how you feel about me fucking in a windmill, you probably want to leave,” Brown yelled at Luke in the preview. “I fucked in a windmill. And guess what! We did it a second time!”
The dexterity required to bone in a (Dutch? Santorini?) windmill aside, Brown doesn’t let Luke off without a lecture about, uh, basic humility to women. “I don’t owe you anything. My husband would never say what you said to me,” she yelled. “I have had sex, and honestly, Jesus still loves me.” We love a lead who loves the Lord and rotational energy! That is, until next time, when Luke comes back and tries to propose to Brown anyway.