On Wednesday night’s episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Kim Kardashian West made an appearance to talk about her and Kanye’s fourth child, Psalm, and promote her new line of shapewear, Skims. During the appearance she described her family life as being like a “sitcom,” but it sounds like it may be closer to a horror movie. These spooky revelations were prompted when Fallon asked her, “Is Wyoming real?” (whoa, deep) to find out the truth about the Kardashian Wests moving out to the ranch Kanye bought. Kim assured the audience that “I love L.A.” and that if she has it her way, the ranch will be more of a weekends and holidays property for the family of six. Based on her description though, the literal Cabin in the Woods sounds like a ranch in the Spahn sense, good for a long weekend getaway if that long weekend starts on a Friday the 13th. As Kim tells it:
It’s like, you know, 5,000 acres or something. So we’re driving, driving up. We brought three of the kids. We go up to this cabin at the top. No electricity. iPads died. He falls asleep, so now I’m with the three kids. No bathroom […] So there’s now no lights, I’m scared to death that a bear or something’s gonna come. I don’t know if there’s bears there, but some animal’s gonna get us. […] My phone dies. There’s literally like no service, no nothing. I’m peeing in a bottle.
Who’s their travel agent? Blumhouse? The only image more haunting than Kim Kardashian West left alone in a cabin in the dark with three children, no phone signal, peeing in a bottle … is the time Kanye trapped Kenny G in a haunted labyrinth of roses as a gift to Kim. Their story did have a sitcom ending though: The next morning, after improbably surviving the night and making breakfast “on a fire thing,” Kim and Kanye went on a walk around the property to find … an entire functioning hotel. We love a good twist!