call me by your smooch

How Many Marshmallows Could I Fit in Timothée Chalamet’s Mouth?

Photo: Mondadori Portfolio/Mondadori Portfolio via Getty Imagrd

There’s a game I used to play as a kid at summer camp called Chubby Bunny. It involves a bag of marshmallows and trying not to choke to death. Place a marshmallow in your mouth and say “chubby bunny.” Add another and repeat. Add two, three, four more. “Whumby bwhunmy.” Continue until the player can no longer utter anything resembling the fat-rabbit phrase or until the marshmallows appear to be impeding the ability to breathe. You can also play with grapes, but that always seemed riskier to me. Anyway, we’re getting away from the point here. Why am I thinking about Chubby Bunny, you ask? Well. See.

There’s this photo of two professionally hot people — Timothée Chalamet and Lily-Rose Depp — kissing on a boat. Kissing, honestly, is perhaps the wrong word for it. The two are smashing their mouths together with their jaws so agape I feel my own TMJ flaring up. Depp’s tongue plumbing the depths of Chalamet’s mouth cavern like James Cameron in that li’l sub looking for Titanic. Chalamet’s head tilting upward toward Depp’s, his mouth open at such an aggressive angle he looks like a human Pac-Man. Except instead of eating pellets and fruits, Chalamet is eating Depp’s face. The image has been circulating as a meme all weekend. So you see, to return to the marshmallows … I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about Timothée Chalamet’s mouth. Depp’s too, for that matter. Seems likely you could shove a fair amount of Jet-Puffed up there.

How Many Marshmallows Fit in Timothée Chalamet’s Mouth?