Kristen Stewart paid a visit to Jimmy Fallon last night in her Halloween costume (she and her girlfriend created a couples costume described as “socially irrelevant heteronormative gender roles … that are dead!”), and when the conversation turned to her hosting the upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live this weekend, Fallon couldn’t help but bring up one particularly memorable moment from her earlier SNL hosting debut: saying “fuck” on live television in her opening monologue. It has been almost three years since that moment, so Stewart — with a bunch of fake blood on her face — was willing to revisit it, especially now that she feels less “palpitation-y” about hosting than she did the first time. “I had numerous people come up to me four different times before the show because I’d been kind of stumbling through rehearsal because I was really self-conscious and embarrassed. I was like, ‘I can’t do this until it’s the moment and it’s game on!,’” she told Fallon, before explaining how she mumbled through her monologue rehearsal with lots of cursing. “They were like, ‘You can’t do that on the show! You cannot do that on the show!’ And, uh, I did it on the show.” Thankfully, that slipup wasn’t big enough for the show to decide that she didn’t deserve a chance to do it all again. This is why, if you’re a fan of SNL, you’ve got to watch it live.