Do You Love Anything As Much As Kristen Stewart Loves Hands?

Photo: Amanda Edwards/WireImage

Each of us, I think — I hope! — has our own niche interests that reliably set our cold little weirdo hearts aflame. Maybe it’s the fish tube; or a very specific, very jazzy coffee cup; or a large and handsome lizard. For Kristen Stewart, it’s hands. She just loves hands! Which, if you ask me, makes it all the more upsetting that someone is out there, telling her not to hold her girlfriend’s hands — the hands she may, it stands to reason, love the most — in public. But why does K. Stew love hands so much, you ask might ask. Here, let her explain it to you as she explained it to Shia LaBeouf in their Variety “Actors on Actors” chat, released Thursday.

“Oh my God, man, I’m telling you, there’s like this whole — I’m writing about hands lately, a lot,” the actor effused, with the enthusiasm of a person who has just snorted three lines of pure hands. “Well, they do everything for you!” Like right now, for me, they’re typing this very important Hand Bulletin. You see? “They’re so lyrical and defining,” Stewart continued, “And I love people’s fucking hands, yeah.” Yeah!

LaBeouf, we are made to understand, enjoys and appreciates hands, too, and cited a specific scene from the upcoming film, Seberg (see the 2:10 mark in this trailer), in which Stewart brandishes a subtly shaking finger gun. Pretty good hand work.

Do You Love Anything As Much As Kristen Stewart Loves Hands?