Teaching children can reward you with a sense of accomplishment, meaning, and purpose. And if that isn’t enough, you can also leverage the tiny amount of power you have to drive a group of theater dorks to the brink of insanity. In one of this week’s cut-for-time Saturday Night Live sketches, host Will Ferrell brings both kinds of drama to the students waiting to be cast in Bye Bye Birdie. It isn’t an easy job, since several of them either read as “such virgins” or have parents that are “the difficult kind of Christian.” Only Tammy has it all figured out: If you don’t care what role you get, you’ll get the best ones, every time. Also, Ferrell’s Mr. Keonig will absolutely have to pay the school district back to replace that office door, what with the spy holes he drilled through his comedy and tragedy masks.