earnest pleas

Oh, and If You Even Try to Watch The Irishman on Your Phone, So Help Martin Scorsese …

Photo: Kimberly White/Getty Images

Just because Martin Scorsese’s The Irishman is now available on Netflix does not mean you get to watch it flat on your back, with your iPhone inches from your face, like you normally watch movies. First of all, the film is three and a half hours long. Your eyeballs will explode like lightbulbs or dry out into twin Craisins. Second of all, it would go against Martin Scorsese’s expressed wishes. “I would suggest, if you ever want to see one of my pictures, or most films, please, please don’t look at it on a phone. Please,” the director explained on Popcorn With Peter Travers in November. He’s not an unreasonable man, however. He’s willing to meet you in the middle, screen-size-wise. “An iPad,” Scorsese allowed. “A big iPad, maybe.”

“Ideally, I’d like you to go to a theater. Look at it on a big screen from beginning to end,” the director continued. “And I know, it’s long. You’ve got to get up. You gotta go to the bathroom, that sort of thing. I get it, but also at home, I think if you can make a night of it, or an afternoon thereof, and know that you’re not gonna answer the phone, or you’re not gonna get up too much, it might work.” Also, while Marty’s at it: Please, please watch Hugo in 3-D. He knows it’s not convenient, but that’s just how it’s meant to be seen.

Watch The Irishman on Your Phone, Break Scorsese’s Heart