During a recent appearance on BBC’s Would I Lie To You? that would have Ebenezer “Are There No Workhouses?” Scrooge saying, “What the fuck?,” Sharon Osbourne laughed her way through an anecdote about dismissing husband Ozzy Osbourne’s assistant for failing to find the humor in being forced back into the Osbourne home during a house fire. Apparently, after an errant Christmas candle started a blaze in the Osbourne’s living room one holiday evening, the unnamed assistant reluctantly exposed himself to smoke inhalation in order to rescue the family’s art and dogs from the blaze. However, Sharon Osbourne explains, his inability to laugh about the incident later lead to her sacking him after the fact.
“After this terrible night, he was not talking to me,” she recalls. “Ozzy and I were recounting everything, and we were laughing and laughing. And he goes, ‘I don’t see what’s funny about any of this. I think I’m going to have damaged lungs.’ And, I mean, please. So then I said, ‘If you don’t think that’s funny, do you think this is funny?,’ and he goes, ‘What?’ I said, ‘You’re fired.’” Did we mention this happened around Christmas? Is there any chance that candle fell over when three ghosts kicked in the door from the afterlife? Is there any chance it didn’t?