If you thought our bronze goddess J.Lo was going down a few romantic tiers with Chad, we honestly don’t know where to begin with her other sketch husband-by-choice, Matt Shatt. He has a Smurf tramp stamp. He’s happily unemployed. His dick is small. She lets him sleep with other women because he’s a “stallion” who can’t be tamed. He rejected her proposal three times. These revelations are making it impossible for the designers of a home-makeover show to perform their jobs, and frankly, we can’t blame them. Some mysteries of the universe (and of the heart) are better left unsaid.