It’s the first week of late night in 2020, and everything’s already insane. Both awards season and World War III are ramping up, and late night is doing its best to cover both. Naturally, the showbiz one was more fun to watch. We can no longer pretend laughing at Trump helps us in any way, so we might as well hear Golden Globes soup anecdotes. Here’s who brought to the couch the new year’s best stories.
5. Merodamus’s 2020 Predictions
Desus & Mero is still on hiatus, but Mero has been working out a new digital-exclusive character, Merodamus. Inspired by late astrologer to the tías of the world, Walter Mercado, Mero gave entirely too personal predictions for every star sign. These predictions were mostly based on the one person he knows with each sign, but isn’t that how all astrologers really do it?
4. The Late Show Features Stand-up
We’ve got a twofer at No. 4 today because it’s rare for The Late Show to run stand-up, let alone two in the same week. Kate Willett and Pedro Gonzalez brought different sensibilities (yet nearly identical shades of red outfits) to Colbert, and they both killed. The camera work on both sets highlighted what an accomplishment that was. Late-night stand-up sets are usually directed at the camera: The comic is speaking to you, the person in bed. But the Ed Sullivan Theater is huge! These guys had to play to a balcony and the viewer at home. Hats off.
3. “I Gotta Eat All This Soup!”
Greta Gerwig got snubbed (again) by the HFPA, but she didn’t walk away from the Golden Globes empty-handed. Besides presumable swag from a gifting suite, Gerwig got to eat all the soups at the Marriage Story table. According to the Little Women director, she showed up to the event two hours early. And while Noah Baumbach did press, Gerwig felt obligated to eat all the soup courses her tablemates were missing. Congrats on winning Most Full of Soup, Greta!
2. J.B. Smoove Leaves a Note for Larry
J.B. Smoove went on Late Night With Seth Meyers and took advantage of the fact that his bro Larry David would be on the show two nights later. He left a little note in the couch for David, something he claims he does all the time (?) at doctor’s offices and the like (???). The bit paid off Thursday night, when we finally got to know what the letter said. We’ll never know what Bill Murray whispered in ScarJo’s ear at the end of Lost in Translation — probably that she could play a tree if she wanted. But we at least know what J.B. stuffed into a couch for Larry David.
1. Salma Hayek Is Feeling Blessed by Bunions
If you don’t love this clip, I don’t know how to help you. It has everything: multiple ducks, Salma low-key bragging that she’s at least trilingual, a plea to the superstitious comedy viewer. But what really sends this clip into the stratosphere is that Hayek lays all her recent luck at Tiffany Haddish’s feet. Literally. Ever since she rubbed Tiffany’s bunions, everything’s been coming up Salma. Also, you get to hear Hayek pronounce the word “bunion,” which is what I want to hear on repeat in my hospice care room before I die.
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