Are you in the market for a tasteful, modest, well-decorated, reasonably priced house in Beverly Hills? If you are then do NOT under any circumstances contact Dr. Phil about living in his house. On Thursday, the Los Angeles Times reported that Dr. Phil a.k.a. Phillip Mcgraw (who — let the record show — is not a real doctor) recently put his Beverly Crest mansion on the market for a cool $5.75 million. Photos of the property owned by Oprah’s old pal show that the interior of the house looks like a melted candle, a Lisa Frank notebook, and what would happen if you asked a seventh-grade bully to sketch his “dream bachelor pad.”
Behold the bejeweled bear and rabbit figurines underneath a wall of guns! Look over there — it’s a purple egg chair hanging from the ceiling directly across from a giant piece of art that says “fuck” on it! Marvel at the foyer, which is eerily reminiscent of the Iron Throne and deserves a similar fate. It’s somehow kid-friendly — pool table! — yet, incredibly upsetting (see: the gun wall). While the house certainly belongs to Dr. Phil, it apparently is not his main residence and there’s no direct proof that he is responsible for any of the décor. However, only the person responsible for giving the world Bhad Bhabie would decorate a house that absurd.