Ricky Gervais was undoubtedly going to make a few black ties a little too tight at the 2020 Golden Globes, but after joking about sweatshops, Jeffrey Epstein, and pedophiles in the Catholic Church, Gervais reserved his bleeped jokes for Old Deuteronomy herself, Dame Judi Dench, and to make a classic awards-show joke. Making fun of the ragged reviews Cats has received, Gervais made sure to include positive reactions to the film. “But Dame Judy Dench defended the film, saying it was the role she was born to play. Because she — I can’t do this next joke,” he paused to laugh. “Because she loves nothing better than plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg, and licking her own [expletive].” Well, we can use our imaginations on that one, can’t we?
And since the guns were already a-blazing, Gervais’s second bleep was an homage to Succession (and, you know, the British): a firm “Fuck off!” He wasn’t using it in vain, however. The bleep was actually in support of a cause we can all get behind — getting the winners to finally, finally keep their speeches short. “If you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your god, and fuck off,” he yelled. Brian Cox would be proud. Tonight, Ricky Gervais gets a kiss from Daddy. But probably not one from the Dame.
Update, January 7, at 3 p.m.: Ricky Gervais is keen for us all to know that he was joking about Judi Dench “plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg, and licking her own minge.” It’s probably fine that they censored the British slang word for U.S. viewers since brains likely auto-filled one of the many American slang terms for vagina. The thrill of curse words crosses all cultural barriers.