Shut it down, folks. We can call the Grammys broadcast a wash right here and now, because it will never reach the aesthetic, sensual, comical, hype heights of Lil Nas X and his magical carousel of guests performing “Old Town Road” at the ceremony. Ellen introduced him, noting that the 20-year-old has broken Billboard records and is nominated for six Grammys tonight. Then, it cut to Lil Nas X sitting on a couch, plucking a mandolin, surrounded by framed magazine covers of himself, with Chowder playing in the backgrounds, because even radiant young babies like Lil Nas X can feel nostalgia. Then, he goofy-cowboy-strutted his way to BTS, who were so hot that CBS probably had to change the broadcast rating to “for mature audiences only” then and there. Next up is a bright pink glitter-barn with Jacob Tremblay tethered Mason Ramsey and Diplo sitting on some hay. Then, Billy Ray Cyrus showed Aerosmith how it’s done in an Eilish-hued slime-skull room. And finally? Lil Nas X had a pleather Neo costume change and was joined by namesake Nas, an artist who will now be known forever more as “Big Nas X.”
Yes, we are aware of how insane this all sounds via text. Mere written word cannot capture the joy (and in the case of the BTS verse, the thirst). Watch the clip above and experience it for yourself.